NEVERMIND!

I feel so frustrated. But someone's right about one thing. I'm good at bottling things up.

And it hurts just enough to make me keep wanting more. Haha. Actually that's not how I feel but it seemed pretty poetic to say that.

In other news, I'd like to say I'm in love, like hopelessly head over heels in love, but I'm not in love. I am upset. And frustrated. And I am smiling. That's what's important.

It doesn't matter what I feel really. It's what I make people believe I feel and therefore what they feel. I know   I don't make a big enough impact on other's emotions, but I'd like to.

I want to feel important. Every now and then. I just want to be someone for someone.

I don't want to be alone, what use is bottling things up if there's no one there to open you up.

I have used to many "I"s and now I am selfish and self-centered.

Something should be done. Something. Panic should not be done. Panicking.

I can't seem to get out of my "I" thing.

It's more than the test I took today. More than the amount of time I spent saving Skyrim today. More than the weekend that felt it was wasted. More than the last week's breaks not being filled.

It's my whole life that feels like it's not crescendo-ing up to anything. It's not exciting.

Something can be done. I think.

I think I feel lonely. But I have friends. I call them friends. I like them. They're nice.

What am I to them? I don't care. They're my friends.

OH NEVERMIND YOU!

JUST GAHHHH

TELL ME! JUST FREAKING TELL ME! JUST BEFORE I DO ANYTHING STUPID! I JUST WANT A REAL ANSWER.

I hate my intuition so you have to tell me. It has to be concrete. I can't go assuming things will or will not happen. I shouldn't. But I still am.

I need more direction. No, just a narrower road maybe.

I feel lost. I need someone... assertive.

Hm... Yeah. :close enough:

And as much as I'm embarrassed to say it.

I need a hug. I want a hug. From you. From all of you.

I am selfish. Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever.

But I don't mind. I never mind. I... nevermind.

I want to keep typing. And typing. And typing.

Until it's tomorrow. Until I have to wake up. Until I have to take my tests.

UNTIL I GET AN ANSWER FROM YOU in a relaxed subtle way.

I don't like walls of text. Here! Have lots of sentences separated by lines of spaces.

_____ __ sir!

INTARWEBZ Y U LYK DIS!

GRARARARARARARARARARAR!!!

WHY NOW?! TELL ME o.o

No, nevermind. Don't waste my time by telling me T-T just just get it working.

Internet don't fail me now!!

*siiiiiiiigh*

SCREW IT

BIO

GAH

DAMN

IT

ALL

GAH
(I'm also homophobic apparently o.o) err... um nevermind. just lolz :)) SCREW EVERYTHING //

I know what I want to do after this

SAMURAI X MARATHON!!!

I finally got a copy and hopefully will finally have time to watch. If it's not this it'll be still trying to save Skyrim.

So tests per major this week and two majors so that's four tests in total. One tomorrow, two the next day, and the last on Saturday. Then of course there's the Math which I hope I won't have a problem with.

I really want to get high grades for this. I really owe it to my parents who have raised me well (it's well enough for me, and I'm really grateful) and of course to all the taxpayers who are paying for my tuition fees.

I want to get high grades for myself too because I know I can do it, I know I have to prove it so I can deserve it, so I will.



Whee~ I'll edit that out tomorrow. Hopefully *shrugs*

. . .

On second thought I'll stick to my games and such. I still have something to prove before I think I'm ready for that. (Turns out I edited it out even before I published it the first time.)