I Lost The Game.

I'm doing well. Small Progress but Progress nonetheless. I seem to want more though. I guess LDMU is starting to kick in. The feeling isn't as high when I first started looking. Back then, there was zero progress and only all in my head. But now I say it's getting better. I'm more comfortable and there's much more ground to cover. I'm still losing though, to someone who isn't even playing. I'm not sure if I should be glad or not but if he wins it'll hurt but I will have lost trying.

Well atleast, I think I'm still trying. Don't know if I should continue, not exactly sure what lies ahead. Maybe that's what draws me in, and it's probably what's also keeping me away. Five months to go... but there's time and an opportunity in four. There is hope in my pocket, and it'll last me 'til the end of High School. I'll find a new source eventually and it'll get me to feel just as high as before.

Gonna run in thirty five.

Rematch.

How could you be so good and expect everybody to be as good as you? That's why you're "good" in the first place, you're better than most people. It seems deconstructive criticism to me, trash-talking, but not really because you would know, you are really good. It sucks that I can't be good as you; I know that, you know that. I just wish you would help me so that you wouldn't have to criticize me... It disheartens me and now I don't want to play...

But really, I've been playing for a while and in all my games with you as a teammate, I've been sucking and you were there tell me I sucked. After games I feel so depressed and I wonder why I even play at all. I'd like to learn from you though. I'm gonna get better just to prove to you I don't suck. I'll show you that I can help, that I can play. Maybe I won't ever be better than you, maybe I won't ever defeat you, maybe I won't even be half as good as you. But eventually, I won't suck.

It's time for a rematch.

Things to Do:

1. Learn an instrument (not needed to move on to next step on list)
2. Finish College
3. Finish Masters if I can
4. Get a Job
5. Get Married
6. Have Children
7. Grab a PHD
8. Have more Children
9. Retire
10. Grow Old
11. If I reach 100 years old, start smoking

but first...

Graduate High School with HONORS :>

Same... Only Different.

Not going to fail this year. This...

Is...

I...
am...
EXCITED.

Let's not Fail.

Red!

I can stop checking :D My red ballpoint is out of ink! Hooray!

I still can't believe that even if I know, I refuse to admit that I know.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

These 6 sentences are all seemingly unrelated... because they are :/

I love...

the whole world and being part of it...

Crisis Averted! The World doesn't hate me! I am happy!

Melt with You.

I get it now. Or I have for awhile but I just haven't admitted it.

I don't follow your rules therefore, you won't follow mine.

It's a simple as that. No matter how much you tell two people, you're cute together, you guys should be a thing, or something of the sort, they won't if they don't want to. If any other person tries to pair you up with another, it doesn't matter if they want you to be together or not if you don't want to be together, you won't be.

I've messed up... I should really stop messing with relationships. It'll happen or it won't, for better or worse, I can't control that. Fortunately, they can! So I can still play match-maker (hopefully not a gay fat one), but I have to change my approach. I won't do it directly >:) I won't set-up dates, coordinating schedules, assigning to the same team, invite both to the same party, other things... (unless they want me to). I'll just have to change their view on the world.

If they think they want it, I'll help. Once they dedicate, I'll be there too. If they decide they don't wanna, I'll be there offering an ear or a crying shoulder. If they haven't decided, I'll help them go for it. It's not good to force anyone against their will, but if they're at least willing to try then I'll make them go for it.

But Alas!
(Alas!)

I can't do this until I've taken my own advice. I have to go out there, try it out first. Refine it, experiment, get better, MAKE PROFIT.

I'm just waiting for the most opportune moment to be able to run as fast as I can, far... far... FAR away. (Should be a different post.)