Maybe it's true?

Parents. Grrr. I must grow up to be as troll as you guys.

Excuses.

For it to be both parties must be more than alright. But if the reason is to help the other (has to be both parties helping the other) then it is alright to not be more than alright.

I'm not sure who is alright anymore. I think one is and the other is not. Or maybe both aren't. Either way it still depends on the other. It always depends on the other. Except last time, it depended on one. And well, I saw how that turned out.

It's different I think. It's always gonna be different. I hope it'll be different.

Although time is definitely a factor.

I think I can be more than a member.

Maybe I just need a push and the security I won't be challenged.

I think I can handle a group and keep everybody happy. It's what makes me think I'm a Two or Three wing Two.

Or I may just be a Six; I really don't know.

I want more hanging out time, hopefully next time there will be a lot.

I am hoping that there is next week but I hope that there isn't but until then I think I can't go anyway.

I want to go, I really want / wanted to but I guess I have to decide / have decided.

Spy against Spy. It's different though. I think... it's almost summer.

"I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was..."

I hope too much.

I don't mind. It's fun :))

Six wing 7

Three wing 2

Nine wing less

I dunno anymore :))

Black or White?

Being a Black Mage and all that does that mean that I can only do imba damage spells red mages don't have? I suppose there are black magicks that don't do damage, haste comes to mind. But haste on self? To do what? To cast more spells? To do more damage? Does this mean I cannot help others? I can only "help others" by destroying the problem? I don't really know. I've never tried to magick something up. Maybe I should try, maybe I should find out if I'm really a black mage or white mage in a black cloak. Or maybe... I'm a thief pretending to be a mage. Or a traveler in a robe. Or perhaps I'm a guy with a dagger just waiting for the right time.

I don't know if I want to be a black mage anymore or what made me one in the first place. I want to discover my place in life and perhaps it's best to do that if I'm a freelancer or perhaps a novice class. I like magick though it's really different. I'll see what I can do and then maybe just maybe I'll do something about it.

I got my locker back and that's good news. I'm not sure I feel the same way though. It's been different since. Maybe this is an isolated incident but I'm showing signs of nine-ness. I don't mind that means I'm getting healthier. I've been exposing my Three side too though but so far it was working out. Maybe I am a Three and not a Six. Maybe I'm just a healthy Three with Sixish qualities.

I'm starting to doubt myself? No I don't think so. I'm starting to doubt something else. Maybe I do, maybe I don't. But first... Les Miserables.

I hope you get your car.

Guilty.

I've said I'm sorry so I don't feel guilty anymore and yet that event was so...


STUPID

Why does it have to be about that again? Will it always be like this? Can't I escape? College maybe?

But I like the feeling. It's intense. just enough for me to hurt to know I'm alive. I feel alive.

this is one of those posts I probably won't understand once I reread.

Kudos confusion! Kudos abrasion?! Kudos Brown Out!