I'm not getting any fatter :))

I'm thankful for that but I'm not growing any fitter either.

This ain't healthy sleeping late.
It should never be healthy :)). I want to go to sleep early. But you guys don't. And as a conformer I don't. *sigh* This January I wanna do something. Not sure what it is yet but I want something to happen.

Happy Christmas Eve :D

Don't know what to post no more.













Might not even need this blog anymore

Work Ethics II.

At school someone brought up something like "Not doing anything and passing."
I really don't mind freeloaders, they're really not MY problem. Sure I have to pull more weight, sure I have to twice as much stuff, sure I have to do everything even. But I will have enjoyed the experience and the satisfaction of getting a good grade. Sure they would have gotten a good grade too, but will they have enjoyed the experience of hard work? Of course not! But they would have enjoyed the experience of having me as a group mate. It's all about reputation. It doesn't matter if you do anything or not, it's just supposed to look like you are doing something, and it has to be convincing.

Also, a tip to anyone who wants to be a group mate to any one and every one... Don't use emotional issues as an excuse, it's better to say something like, "Sorry, I have a dentist's appointment", "Sorry, my family and I are going out that afternoon", or even "Sorry, my dog just died I have to go dig up a hole in the backyard". Actually just in general, don't mix personal things with academics. Never ever. Keep them totally separate entities. Doesn't matter if you hate one person's guts, if they're your group mate you'll just have to survive through it.

So what is this post exactly about. I'm not sure either. Or am I? I dunno I just felt like typing stuff down.

Stewardesses <- I typed that with my left hand :D

Screw This.

Ha! I wish I could go "Screw This" and no that's not what she just said. I can't give up. Not yet, not when I've come so far. It's practically the last sprint to the finish, if I stop running I'll never get there, momentum take me there. But what if YOUR momentum was taken away, just like that? Your driving force, the thing that keeps you going, went, and is now gone. Kinda makes you stop, like literally. You have to start from the beginning working your way up, getting faster, and faster until reach up to speed. But you can't build up slowly you have to build fast.

Acceleration vs Top Speed, which do you need more? The ultimate Racing Game Question. One kart has the best acceleration, but not a very high top speed, while the other is incredibly fast but takes too long to get to that speed. Or one could go for the balanced kart which has average speed and average acceleration. It's so conflicting. If I take time to decide I'd be wasting time.

But I think there is a use for each kart.
If you want to pass, study fast, get your grade.
If you want something high, study long for hours, get your grade.
If you want a compromise, study enough, get your grade.

An increase in studying by 1% might not always mean an increase of 1% in grade but it might be a good measure.

I think I've already picked the fast car except I've hit a speed bump, called Puzzle Pirates (and something else :>), so now I'm slow again and I have to accelerate just to get to my top speed. But I'll get there. I know I can. I WILL get there.

I just wish I had some speed boosters handy. Oh Shiny Item Box where are you? Why can't I have speed boosters?

[Next Time I should pick one game to base my posts on, like this one should be Mario Kart but that's for next time.]

It must be True...

I've made a decision not to go to sleep early tonight. I guess it's because I was reading TV Tropes but that's just me trying to make me forget about you. I know that it's so incredibly stupid posting about you when I know that people could be reading this at this time especially right now because it's so incredibly late. What I'm trying to say is, I'm incredibly something-headed right now that I just wanted to post something about you. To finally not feel guilty about posting about liking you. There I said it. TV Tropes might have indeed just made my mind all that much clearer, or higher I'm not sure at the moment, but I guess this post will probably never see the light of day...

Okay... now for something more stupid than my first action. I really do like you. I really, really do. In the hopes that you'll never see this blog ever, ever again. I hope that I can at least make you happy without you ever knowing that I have feelings for you.

Now to shoot myself down... This is probably just puppy love if ever it is love. This is most likely even JUST infatuation or even worse, long unresolved sexual tension. Hmph. Give up. Now. Because there is no Rule of Romantic. You aren't a Dogged Nice Guy, or a Nice Guy to begin with, or The Hero. You're just ridiculously average...

Here's to hoping that there is a Rule of Romantic.
I'll be here for you.

(This is what happens when a friend is missing.)

It should never be like this ever...

Xam: Hi! :D
Alice: Hello :]
Alice: oh and Good Night! :))
Alice has signed off
Xam: o.o

... Must remember to finish this :))

Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. Didn't.

Eenie. Meenie. Mynie. Moe.

Five minus 2  = 4

"Mere Compliance"

It sucks to have that written down on my "family"'s paper. I blame this all one thing.


Hm... all the negativity is gone...

Thank you new phone. I will post about above when I remember.

-> A pt

Offering Escape from Reality

1.00 PhP for 900nF ceramic capacitor.

So that's what she meant. I finally understand what today offers as escapes from reality. Thank you GoSick, thanks for that momentary escape. I have to go back now, but I'll forever remember this.

First Anime Finished. WOOT!

Practice. Practice. Practice. BOOM John Lloyd

I really think I can improve my sports capabilities, be more athletic and stuff. I bet I could improve my frisbee throws and catches, my basketball shooting skills, softball batting skills, and in general running speed. I'd like to be able to catch all of the throws they throw to me and be able to make the frisbee go to who I want it to go to. I'd like to be able to sink all my 2 and 3 point shots, especially free throws. I'd like to be able to hit every softball, too high, too low, doesn't matter, just everyone of them that comes my way and send it far enough for my team to get two bases, atleast. I'd like to run faster too, because it's really important for a lot of sports, I'd like to be able to keep running like that for a longer while too.

But it's incredibly hard to practice, especially when there are people who are so much better than you present during practices. It feels so embarrassing not being able to catch, to throw, to shoot, to bat every single thing that comes your way. It sucks... it's this mentality that stops some people from ever moving up. Maybe people like me? I'd like to get better, I wouldn't mind working hard to get better, I just don't like the eyes watching. I just don't think people can see me as someone who can shoot or throw or bat. It's disheartening, but there's no other way. Plus practice with other people will bring in criticism, hopefully constructive, so that what you're doing wrong can be corrected immediately, because apparently, practice makes permanent.

How do I practice this?

Maybe start practicing alone, then when I get a bit average I practice with others. Yeah maybe that's a good solution. I'll try it, somehow.

Walk. Run. Fly.

Funny Story.

This post is just to remind me of a funny story I told my friend the other day... ahahaha. Yeah... Imma post an artistically challenged post about that funny story if and when it's all finished :))

But while I'm here, Imma post anyway... So here it goes... No really, I'm starting... Right... about... NOW... okay, NOW.

You can't help but feel good about other people's accomplishments, you know? It's just so nice that they've done what they've wanted to do and now they're progressing. Then you think, "what about me?" It's selfish, I know, but it's true. I do feel good about your developments, all your developments, (I'm referring to a bunch of people, got that?) so it kinda feels depressing that I did get farther, then I got zoned (If you know about this funny story, then yes BLANK-Zoned). It kinda sucks, maybe because of the fact that I kinda did get far. I've gotten farther than I could have ever dreamed and am still hoping I could get farther. But as it has been pointed out, this is the saturation point. No matter what else I do, I'll never get farther than this... It kinda sucks, I guess, it sucks a lot... but that's life, just gotta keep on moving... on.

(Meanwhile, On the other side of the Rainbow)

FEELER, FEELER, FEELER (this is part of the funny story that I must / will write)

(Back on the other, other side of the Rainbow)

It's been so long that I don't think I can just go. The last time I tried it ended up in disaster... Yeah... I don't wanna talk about that right now... or maybe ever. maybe someday? but you might never see it. might.

I really gotta go do something though, I still have to keep it up even though it probably HAS reached the point of saturation, but there is a way out of the Zone, yes out of the bad bad bad zone. I'll be one of the lucky ones...

Just wait. (You wait, cause I'm get out of this, just you wait.)

Work Ethics.

Irrational hate is not irrational. I'm not out of touch with my instinct, I'm not a 1 or something. I shouldn't leave most anything to chance. Especially nothing I know I'm good at. Never again. Instinct take over. And you, yeah you, you might be reading though, but I don't care, feel the loathing. Work better, then we'll talk about working together.

I don't think it matters much.

In a few days... Hm...

Nothing will change...

If I don't do anything to change anything.

Good luck to me ;)

You're not the only charming one around here... that's good...

Protect! Shell!

Which are white magicks...

Hm... I'm still afraid... of posting... about... you.

Sorry.

It's the same Banana...

only Saging

I don't think it would have mattered if it were someone else, I would've given up my place for you. I wouldn't have given it up for some people but generally I would give it up. But something feels off. I hope I did the right thing although I'm starting to get paranoid. Paranoid of what, I'm not exactly sure. I really don't know what I'm supposed to be typing but I'll keep typing anyway.

Tomorrow is a Tuesday... Coding. I don't like waking up early but when I do wake up I don't mind staying awake. I like doing a lot of stuff in a day, especially during weekends. Sadly I usually don't get up early enough to seem to do a lot in the morning. So I instead stay up late to do stuff. When that happens I usually get up late the next day. It's confusing on what to do. I wish there was a way to balance that somehow, wake up early enough and be able to sleep late enough to do a lot of stuff. I should probably finish the stuff I start on... like this post which is really just my instantaneous thoughts typed so I don't forget. I am... not in the best of moods right now.

It'll get better tomorrow. But for now I must finish my Bio homework.

Love, Hate, Indifference.

I'd rather love than be indifferent...

I'd rather love than hate...

I'd rather hate than be indifferent...

I can't believe I'm biking as fast as this car now. I guess I've gotten stronger since they first started appearing. I can't believe how fast they infected so many, and they're still at it. I gotta bike fast, I have to get to that shelter as fast as possible. I can't believe that after a week of scavenging food, a week of running about, a week of hiding from those things, I'm finally almost there. Just a left turn here... or was it a right turn. Ah who cares! I must be really close. Wait a second... there it is! Yes that has to be it! Ahahaha. This is so exci...

?! What happened?! Where, where am I... am I, am I still moving? I can't see anything it's so dark. Ugh... I can't move my arms and legs. Last thing I remember was biking then that... truck hit me? I'm glad I'm still alive... how the hell am I still moving?! WHA?! That light! It's too bright! Gah! I still can't move my hands!

HEY! People! There are people here! I can't believe it! Hey! Help me out! I was stru... I can't hear myself... I can't even feel my lips... WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?! Wait what?! Am I falling?! What?!

It's so dark where did they put me? Ow! I felt that! what did my head bump into to? Wait, am I moving? How the... I don't even wanna! I can't control my legs... where am I taking me?!

...

How... how did this happen to me? Help me... anybody please! I've been walking for days now. Help me! CAN ANYONE HEAR ME?! Help. Please. Anybody.

...

i feel so hungry and tired... i can't even think... properly... why won't... i... stop... moving... wait. is that? i smell it. food. or is that. blood. wah. my legs. i think. i think i'm running now. what. wha. it's a person. it's a person? it's food... NO! that's a person i don't eat people. it's food... No! i can't no. that's another person a living breathing... it's food. no! i can't... no. no... food... eat... N... food... food...

...

...

...

...

The End.

Back to my own ways... only better.

It's been a good run this second quarter...
I learned a lot and improved my acads a lot; I at least hope that I did. I guess we'll find out at Card Giving. It was an amazing quarter. It all feels so nostalgic reminiscing even about things done just a month ago. Five months to go, actually one plus four. I think I'm excited but at the same time afraid. Excited to finally finish high school but nervous to find out that I wasn't able to do anything I wanted.

My head is not making sense at the moment I seem to want to write about everything right now but it just doesn't feel right...

*sigh* I'm excited :D

I Lost The Game.

I'm doing well. Small Progress but Progress nonetheless. I seem to want more though. I guess LDMU is starting to kick in. The feeling isn't as high when I first started looking. Back then, there was zero progress and only all in my head. But now I say it's getting better. I'm more comfortable and there's much more ground to cover. I'm still losing though, to someone who isn't even playing. I'm not sure if I should be glad or not but if he wins it'll hurt but I will have lost trying.

Well atleast, I think I'm still trying. Don't know if I should continue, not exactly sure what lies ahead. Maybe that's what draws me in, and it's probably what's also keeping me away. Five months to go... but there's time and an opportunity in four. There is hope in my pocket, and it'll last me 'til the end of High School. I'll find a new source eventually and it'll get me to feel just as high as before.

Gonna run in thirty five.

Rematch.

How could you be so good and expect everybody to be as good as you? That's why you're "good" in the first place, you're better than most people. It seems deconstructive criticism to me, trash-talking, but not really because you would know, you are really good. It sucks that I can't be good as you; I know that, you know that. I just wish you would help me so that you wouldn't have to criticize me... It disheartens me and now I don't want to play...

But really, I've been playing for a while and in all my games with you as a teammate, I've been sucking and you were there tell me I sucked. After games I feel so depressed and I wonder why I even play at all. I'd like to learn from you though. I'm gonna get better just to prove to you I don't suck. I'll show you that I can help, that I can play. Maybe I won't ever be better than you, maybe I won't ever defeat you, maybe I won't even be half as good as you. But eventually, I won't suck.

It's time for a rematch.

Things to Do:

1. Learn an instrument (not needed to move on to next step on list)
2. Finish College
3. Finish Masters if I can
4. Get a Job
5. Get Married
6. Have Children
7. Grab a PHD
8. Have more Children
9. Retire
10. Grow Old
11. If I reach 100 years old, start smoking

but first...

Graduate High School with HONORS :>

Same... Only Different.

Not going to fail this year. This...

Is...

I...
am...
EXCITED.

Let's not Fail.

Red!

I can stop checking :D My red ballpoint is out of ink! Hooray!

I still can't believe that even if I know, I refuse to admit that I know.

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

These 6 sentences are all seemingly unrelated... because they are :/

I love...

the whole world and being part of it...

Crisis Averted! The World doesn't hate me! I am happy!

Melt with You.

I get it now. Or I have for awhile but I just haven't admitted it.

I don't follow your rules therefore, you won't follow mine.

It's a simple as that. No matter how much you tell two people, you're cute together, you guys should be a thing, or something of the sort, they won't if they don't want to. If any other person tries to pair you up with another, it doesn't matter if they want you to be together or not if you don't want to be together, you won't be.

I've messed up... I should really stop messing with relationships. It'll happen or it won't, for better or worse, I can't control that. Fortunately, they can! So I can still play match-maker (hopefully not a gay fat one), but I have to change my approach. I won't do it directly >:) I won't set-up dates, coordinating schedules, assigning to the same team, invite both to the same party, other things... (unless they want me to). I'll just have to change their view on the world.

If they think they want it, I'll help. Once they dedicate, I'll be there too. If they decide they don't wanna, I'll be there offering an ear or a crying shoulder. If they haven't decided, I'll help them go for it. It's not good to force anyone against their will, but if they're at least willing to try then I'll make them go for it.

But Alas!
(Alas!)

I can't do this until I've taken my own advice. I have to go out there, try it out first. Refine it, experiment, get better, MAKE PROFIT.

I'm just waiting for the most opportune moment to be able to run as fast as I can, far... far... FAR away. (Should be a different post.)

You Offered...

Sort of...

*sigh* Conflicted again :)) This is actually quite fun to pretend to think I'm in it and to act that I'm in it when I might not actually be... I just don't want you hurt... I think you shall be S. :D Yeah! Okay...

Shot Down. It only took a day... maybe I came on too strong... I'm... :/ dissapoint.

Recovered. Almost Immediately :D.

Well that part of my life is done :))

See you S. Hopefully soon. But prolly not the same way as today? :))

Dammit. I'm a Black Mage not a Time Mage.

Oh well... Secret Plans and Private Judgements :>

I must get a better watch... Wait. I don't even have one.

To Do List
1. Get a Watch.
2. Check Watch for Time.
3. Adjust Time on Watch (it's just new, it might have the wrong time)
4. Check Watch for Time.
5. Proceed with Secret Plans.
6. Get an Alarm Clock.
7. Replace Watch with a Watch which also has a loud Alarm Clock.
8. Give Away Alarm Clock.
9. Tick of Creating a To Do List on my To Do List.

*Not necessarily in order*

To ship or not to ship, that is the question!

Good Read.

I still wonder why I even bother with this. There's still something stopping me or something that's bringing me back. Not much has changed. Yeah, it's true. Underneath it all, nothing's changed. Not ever. It was the same as before, during, and after.

I think I may be up to no good or possibly readying to be up to no good. I'm excited to see what will happen this year, and I wonder, which one I am. Hm... I still can't post properly; I'm still afraid of posting actual details, that's why my posts seem so uncoordinated. I don't wanna post something that I know I don't want anybody to see. And yet, I created this blog for that purpose. To record my thoughts, and to tell the world what I know. I still feel embarrassed and this is just all talk. But I'm gonna get better. Way way way better. I'm gonna get over it. I'm gonna grow up.

But not yet. I don't wanna grow up too fast. I wanna enjoy this last year. It feels so fast, yet the days feel so slow. I'm.... I'm.... rambling again I think. Hm.... Enough of this nonsense I'm gonna go think up some stuff.

But still, why do I even bother? :))

*sigh* She likes YOU more. :))

Not bad, not bad at all.

My niche has been filled. Ahahaha. I have such a big ego :))

Back to business.

Wait no nvm :)) I forgot what to write down.

Wait I think... hm...


I have a purpose. I know it. I'm not useless yet. I'm still reaching out, getting to other people some how. Their world might not stop when I'm no longer around but it would sure be hell of a lot more boring. Well, at least, I'd like to think it that way.

I thought I was immune somehow... I am freaked out :)).

Random Rambling :D

The Thought of It...

I cringe. Almost everytime.


Every Friday I hear that voice, the voice I loathe. The voice that makes my blood boil. I thought it was during those but now it's all the time. So please, please, don't remind me. Just stop. I can't handle this anymore. I never had the guts to tell you. I don't want people hurt because of me. I really don't.

I'm sorry I never told you. I probably never will. I could say a whole lot more, a really lot more, but I won't. I will never tell but... I probably will.

EoRR

1. Most Favorite Topic - Smiles and Laughter.
2. Least Favorite Topic - Sadness and Depression.
3. Misconceptions Clarified - I'm still not ready.
4. Further Questions - What if it never happened?
5. Lesson Learned to Appreciate Life - ...

... I learned a lot about myself. I feel bad that I didn't do what I was supposed to do but I feel happy that I did at least one thing right. I'm still not ready though. I have to go slow and take time learn and then some. This last year will be a long one. I'm going to make the best out of it and I'm going to learn a lot. It doesn't matter if I fail, I'll just have to keep moving forward.

That reminded me of a story I thought up in class today... It goes a little something like this... (if you're reading it, it must mean you're bored)

Ang G-Tech
Alam niyo, ang buhay dapat hindi parang G-Tech. Ang G-Tech pag bumagsak, wala na! Tapos na! 'Di na siya makakasulat pa. Dapat hindi ganon. Tuloy-tuloy lang ang sulat. Huwag tumigil hanggang maubos ang tinta. Pero minsan kasi, ang Ballpen tumitigil rin sa pagsulat. Pero konting alog lang gagana ulit yan. Ipilit. Huwag magpapatalo! Sulat pa rin kahit paulit-ulit na ang sinusulat para lang bumakat man lang sa papel.

Wag maging G-Tech. Pag bumagsak, tuloy lang, sulat lang. Pag ayaw gumagana, alugin o pagpahingahin.

Tapos sumulat muli.

Lesson Learned: Submit notebooks on time.

Threatening Feeling.

My turf! My niche! Hm... but I should be happy shouldn't I? Imitation is the highest form of flattery :)). I don't have to worry about being there. I'm glad to see some one is moving on in this world. Gonna be my time soon. Slowly but surely, I'll get there. Random Rambling comes to an end. THE END.

Don't Remind Me.

Anywhere and everywhere, anytime and all the time.

I don't like being late. I don't like people waiting for me.

I have a plan...

...SHOOT HIM!

Wait, no, that's not how it was supposed to go.

...

Now I've completely forgotten what to post about. :))
I'll Edit this when it comes back to mind :D

Help. Help. Help.

Gar. Gar. Gar.
Hm. Hm. Hm.
Monday.
Funday.
This. Is.
I. I. I.
Wow.
That.
Was.
It?!
It?
It.

"Atleast someone cares."

-Idunow Husedis

Ever had the feeling that you shouldn't be concerned about something and yet you can't possibly ignore it because something inside of you is saying that you SHOULD be concerned? No? Well, ****-off. :/




(Pardon the Language)

Let's Experiment.

It sucks when you don't know what to do. It sucks being clueless on what you have to be doing and how you're supposed to be doing it. It sucks when no one knows how you feel and no one is there to help.

You know what sucks more? Thinking like you don't know what to do. Thinking like you're clueless on what you have to do be doing and how you're supposed to be doing, when the answer is right in front of your face. It sucks when a billion other people in this world know how you're feeling and you can't seem to ask any of them for help because you're ashamed.

If I want to graduate with honors I have to this properly. I've never done this before but I think this will be the solution to everything. "Practice makes Permanent" that's what my Social Science Teacher told me. I've been lazing around too much and now I've gotten used to it. The drop in quality of my work was barely noticed last last year. But I can't say the same for last year. It's still considerably small but notable enough. And yet, I'm still here, constantly distracting myself. I should be studying. I should be worrying about requirements. And yet.

I'm still here... playing, imagining, laughing, running around, lazing around. I don't wanna grow up yet. The world won't stop turning for me. If I wanna play and I wanna work, I gotta find time for everything. Atleast I know what the problem is, right? Knowing is half the battle, right?

I read through the post and I saw a change of tone and it was surprising. Imma gonna practice my writing. I'm gonna get better :D

Creative Shot

I hope I'm creative enough. I don't seem to be enough for anything anymore. I have to put more effort if I wanna keep my state right now... Changing my state to keep it. This will be a challenge. But it will be fun on the way. I know this is just all talk. Yes still just all talk. For now, I think talk will be a good plan. Walk will follow soon after. I'll just have to get my game face on.

THE END starts with THEE

A week isn't enough.

I  want to rest. I want to play. I don't want to have to worry about much. Give me a week. But a week wouldn't be enough...

THE END starts with THEE

4 Venus Djinn

Things have changed since I started this blog and I still haven't been able to write down all the things I've wanted to write down.

Do all questions have answers?
Do all answers have questions?

(The above two statements were not the ones I still can't write down. Hm... Two Solutions: 1. Not Here and 2. Not Yet.)


[I am Affected. I feel embarrassed, ashamed even. Even just thinking about it. Hm... Does this not mean otherwise? More Thought Processing Required.]

Gotta Make Up My Mind

Today was an iffy day. It wasn't great, it wasn't that bad either. I liked the Math Long Test and PE though. Bio is a given, Fil was weird. Chem was okay, yeah, it was okay. Econ was Mind Rape. English is ENGLISH. EmSys was me just LOL And Physics... ewww...

I don't know what to think anymore. A friend asked how it was, and I answered I don't know... I haven't known for the past week or so. She then asks since when this has been, I reply ever? She asks again, once again, ever? It's been really weird. Or it's been really normal and I'm just trying to make things complicated. A different friends say I should just keep to my safe life, but really where's the fun in that? Seriously though, I really shouldn't be concerned about that, I mention to a friend and he just :)) in reply. I don't mind really... I really don't expect someone to know the answer... And yet... That one talk... That one talk... It was... I sorta...

No Forget it... I have to figure this out on my own... That was just me being melodramatic. I shouldn't even try... *sigh* Yes a big sigh...

I don't think I'll survive with a business of my own... My heart, 'twas not built for that. I don't have the EQ that would help me not give up. I don't even know what to do with my life. I don't know  what specialization I have... Might as well teach then? or teach how to teach? :))

I can't even multitask. It sucks, I swear. But I've realized that concentrating on one will get jobs done faster. Of course time is still an enemy, but one step at time is good progress for me. I just wish I could be efficient and effective... And to be more decisive... Hm... GG I suppose. Good Game. But there's still next Game right?

I'll wait... now is not the time... there will be a lazy time where everything will come into place. But I can't just wait all the time... I have to make things happen... and unhappen. I just hope no one's waiting for this, watching me as I plot. SCREWED.

"Objection!"

-Phoenix Wright

Contradictions everywhere. I wonder "Why?" but really don't I know it already? I probably should know but I refuse to admit it. Indeed cognitive dissonance has its ways all the time but I really can't help but wonder "What if?"
I tell myself "No more distractions, I can't have this without being distracted." And yet, I'm here, writing about distractions, not even caring that there are several LTs this week. This is sad. This is low. This is Stress. I don't need to think about these things, I could just let the whole world pass time. I could just not care, but I want to, I have to. I don't know whether time is with me or against me however I do know that I am against myself.

Hm... I think I've distracted myself from writing the rest of this post. Well that sucks.

Pardon the Rambling.

Did I ever mention, I'm shallow and very selfish :D

Finding out that I had the same birthday as a certain "you-know-who", it made me think, will I grow up to be like him? It's been a really weird month and half (YES, 7 and half months left). I'm still really thinking about that thing but it's getting harder to not think about. Hm... Maybe I should stop sleeping in math and physics :)). Hm... Maybe I should stop trying to make my life more exciting. Hm... Maybe I should study chem. Maybe I'm a hopeless... hm... Ah well. 5 days to go I suppose.

Hey, if you're reading this, you were not helping :)). We're so bad at this, as you have said. I can keep it on, but you should probably do something. This is real I think. So yeah... I have a lot of thinking and testing to do. I LOVE HALF-DAYS. THANK YOU MONDAY.

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Bucketlist
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If you thought you'd find out what my Bucketlist would be well, you wish. I'm not going to be posting my list yet because I don't have it yet. I might have individual wants to accomplish but they haven't been compiled yet. As I think about this list though, I realize that I can't put it up anyway because, well reasons better for me to know and you to find out when it is time that you may find out. Although know one thing atleast, I want to buy a shirt for myself, that's part of my list. And then there is this person I have to get to know more. So that's two things but oh well. There are so many things I wanna put but I don't wanna list it down here. I'm just repeating what I've been saying for the past few sentences maybe I'll stop. Yeah. You guys should stop reading I'll probably stop typing anyway. WTH am I doing up anyway :)). So yeah Stop Reading Right Now. Exit that Tab RIGHT NOW!





























THE GAME
(I warned you :D)

A word of advice...

If you wanna be remembered go to war, If you wanna reminisce, make sure you remember the good stuff and the bad stuff. If you can laugh about the bad stuff now, that means you've moved on. If you can't... WELL SUCKS TO BE YOU! you have to strive to change that. Bad memories are funny memories. Some turn into traumas which mean that you haven't moved on. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's soft easy, but well, it's possible. So whatever embarrassing thing you've done already may and probably will haunt you forever, but at least when they're laughing at you, you can join them, and then they'll be laughing with you :D

Hm... June comes to an end.

When June ends, I'll only have 9 months left. NINE MONTHS(!) until I graduate, and then I won't be a student of Pisay anymore. I'll see less of my friends. Hm... that's disappointing. I really like my friends, personally, I think I picked them really right these past four years. I wish there was something I could do before this school year ends. But I'm freaking out because this feeling died out (or atleast it should have / I think it did) ages ago. But now, maybe it's just me thinking too hard, but I want to have that one thing, that I've been wanting since I started going to Pisay(?). It's annoying really. Damn the summer, even though it was INCREDIBLY AWESOME. Damn summer camps, even though they were INCREDIBLY AWESOME. Damn friends, even though they are MORE INCREDIBLY AWESOME-ER-EST. Gah... It's so frustrating not knowing what to do. I'm not sure if I should give up. And I don't think I can have it right now. Even if I was eventually free to have it, a minimum of 3 months of preparation. Gah... I hope no one ever finds out what I'm trying to say in this post. But in case you do, please, please, please, don't tell anyone. Ask me if you want, but only me, EVER. This is my first ever "Will Never See the Light of Day." post that will actually be public to you readers. I feel that this is ambiguous enough. Hm... maybe not enough. Gah. Damn summer, and summer camps, and my AWESOME friends. Makes me think.

Am I over thinking this? Should I just be happy with what I have? But, then I'll never find out. There are a lot of things that I've never found out, but I don't want this to be one of these times. Must be free... But I can't. I don't think I'm supposed to be. Nine point something months to go before I'll never find out... the clock is ticking.

Also Damn coincidences. They're lol which shouldn't be included in this post but it is well worth noticing. Damn you coincidence.

(I must get better at writing posts)

I Brush My Teeth Naked

As weird as it sounds, yes, I brush my teeth naked. Well not all the times I brush my teeth, usually during at night before going to sleep. You see my basic routine is as follows:

1. Grab towel, head for bathroom
2. Hang towel, take of clothes
3. Go into bathroom, lock door

4. Turn on shower, once wet, turn it off
5. Shampoo hair, then rinse
6. Soap my face and upper body, rinse again
7. Soap lower body, rinse but don't turn off shower
8. Stay under water, turn off shower
9. Flush Toilet
10. Brush my teeth.
11. Grab towel, dry off


I do this routine every night, and during mornings with no school, because I usually have breakfast then shower. When there is school or an event, I skip brushing my teeth and brush my teeth after eating downstairs. So really, I do brush my teeth naked, I don't have to, I just do, but not all the time. It's weird I guess but I'm just really lol because I'm actually posting about it. Now that's weird.
Oh well. I love showers. I love them. More of, I love cold showers. I hate showers with hot water, actually, traumatized of showers with hot water. When I was a kid we were staying some where cold, probably Tagaytay or Bagiuo, and so it was bath time. Yey bath time! I go into the shower and then there are two knobs! TWO KNOBS! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHICH ONE WOULD GET ME WATER?! So I asked my mom! Yey! There's water! She turns it off and tells me to use the one she had just opened. So I go into shower, still afraid to use the knob, so I call for her again. She opens the knob then BAM! HOT WATER! GAH! HOT WATER! AAAAHHHHH!!! Ok, done emoting. But yeah, ever since then, NO MORE HOT WATER. Before going to sleep, cold shower, preparing for school in the morning, cold shower. Wake up at 5am for Boy Scout, cold shower, shower after getting wet by the cold rain, cold shower!

So why bother posting about these things, they have no meaning to anyone but me. Yeah, well my blog, my posts :)). But seriously, I really thought I had something planned that's why I started typing but oh well. Maybe I'll put in a lesson or two worth learning next post, whenever that may be. Hm... Atleast you'll walk away from this post knowing, I brush my teeth naked (but I don't HAVE to) and I love cold showers (like really love cold showers)!

Had to Jinx it :))

Why you rain on me?!?! :)) Why Rain?! WHY!?!?!? Oh well. I like the Rain. It is cool when the rain comes. I love the sound it makes on your rooftops (if you have one). I love the sound. Makes me want to sleepzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... Oh gosh. That wasn't funny at all. It's weird when things sound cooler in your head and then when you say it out loud or type it down it isn't at all what you wanted it to be. Like this post, I think I wanted it to be about the rain, now I'm just posting random doohickeys. Like that word, I thought of it just now and it failed at being cool / funny or as I call it cunny? fuol? Dang, that sucked. Oh well. At least I'm posting again, right? ... Why is it so hard to find something to post that isn't negative? lol Maybe I'm just over thinking these things. Ah well. So yeah. Rain = wet. Me wet with rain = Me Sad. Me wet with shower water = Me Happy. Wet = cool and cool = Me. :D Wow. More Fail Comedy :)). I love that smiley :D this one too. And I learned this one from a guy named MikeyTheFirst ._. Cool huh?

If I start posting will people start reading?

I don't really mind if people read these posts or not read these posts, this is just a nice way for me to practice my typing skills. It's really fun. Quick! Ask me to type something! Oh wait, you can't. This is my blog. My post. My World. Thanks Blog for being there. Sounding to Emo for me though so Imma go type some more random stuff. Hm... What to type... Summer has been fun... Summer was fun... Dang it! Why is summer ending?!? I haven't even played to my heart's content yet :)). This is so annoying :)). Ah well. Hopefully I can have this much fun when school starts. I miss school though. Mostly the company. I only have my computer as company (and my family but that goes without saying). I love the summer, so hot and well, hot and dry! I can be in a sando and no one would care. I could sweat it the hot off and no one would care. I love summer. Y U have to end?!?! Oh well... Woooh! This post is getting to be longer than I expected. It seems that if I type and type, I'll eventually get a post. Awesome. I love discovering new things by myself about myself. What's in store, Tomorrow?

4 days ago.

You have got to be kidding me. 4 days ago? The last post of all the blogs I've been following was atleast 4 days old?!?! And that post wasn't even posted by a regular poster. Wow. Has the world stopped while I was away? I like to think it that way. I like it that way. Damn my ego. Ah well.

32 days gone

It's weird posting using a different computer (well, laptop actually) because the keyboard just feels different. I could always just use the USB keyboard I usually use because it is infact a plug and play USB keyboard, but whatever.

So what am I going to post? I don't know. No seriously, I just wanted to type something down, maybe hoping I could find a topic to write about. It's been a month since I last posted, exactly 32 days I think. I've been busy with school and playing games that there hasn't been a need to post anything. I think I started this because I wanted to broadcast things I couldn't before but I still have some posts which are still 'drafts' not because they're not finshed but because I'm afraid of posting them. It's weird, and I know that, it's just that I'm not ready to show people who I really am. I hope that this doesn't offend any of you, if I have any readers at all, but I guess I'm just not ready yet. Oh well maybe sometime soon I'll open up for reals, but not soon soon. So I still have nothing to post about, just wanted to type something I guess. Oh well... I hope I can get back to posting soon but there is my summer elective I'm taking, Field Biology, and it starts on the 19th and continues on for 2 weeks. I hope I can survive and that those that I'll be with, will be fun people. With the training and stuff, I think they are fun people, I just hope that it'll stay that way after the 2 weeks of Field Bio.

So that's it for this "post" because there really isn't anything in here. So read if you have time, although by now it's probably too late. I want to post stuff again :))

"Welcome, friends! I knew you'd come, so I've been practicing my greeting!"

-Kefka Palazzo, FF: 6

Perhaps I should rephrase that, "Welcome, Mr. 6! ..."

Yes, Mr. 6. My polar opposite. I've declared myself 9 and him my 6! My Polar Opposite, what I am, he is not, what he is, I am not. I don't really want to talk about this too much I just wanted to announce to the world that I have found my Opposite. I suppose we're not the same in some aspects, like the 6 and 9 who both have curves we too have our similarities, like our dislike of a certain Ms. P and our interest in generally the same things. We are different in terms of direction. Like the 9 and 6, sometimes we are facing away (us against each other), like in this sentence, and sometimes facing each other (us agreeing with each other), like in two sentences before this one.

Well what ever the case may be, I can at least say that I have found my 6. I don't care if he doesn't feel the same (that I am his 9, and no, I'm not gay :))), I just want him to know that I am a friend that he count on(lol, that sounded so BRomance-y, eww...), like getting him awkward moments with Ms. H and maybe just about contradicting everything that comes out of his mouth (I'm sure he'll disagree, because you know, we're opposites :D).

Welcome, Mr. 6! I didn't think I'd find you already, so I haven't been able to practice my greeting yet!

A ship that never sinks...

 "You aren't my Friend because I know you, I know you because you're my Friend." -Me, to my friend Mr. P

It's almost that time of the month again...

No, I don't mean the menstrual cycle, it's almost the end of the month. A time where you can post something, embarrassing or something you don't want anyone to see and it'll be hidden in the archives as long as you have a post in the new month. I did it last time which means this blog is almost 1 month old. I'm kinda sad because I have posts which I don't want to show due to whatever. Maybe I'll publish one tomorrow or I'll make a new blog where there are no limits. I'm still afraid I guess. I just don't want to hurt someone's feelings through a blog and pretend like I never said anything against him/her. Maybe even after that one month of posting I still haven't learned what a blog is supposed to be? I think I still haven't learned how to end essays / posts properly. See? Like this one. Ah well. Just wanted to post something that was on my mind. Maybe I'll post of an actual topic tomorrow :)).

How to be a Black Mage.

Chapter 1: Characteristics of a Black Mage

Intro: So I had this friend (I haven't talked about her yet) she told me that when she opened up my blog that she thought it was about being a Black Mage. I told her, that it wasn't like that. It's just titled that way because Black Mages are COOL! She made me think about it and maybe I SHOULD make this a blog about developing myself into a Black Mage (or at least as close enough to a Black Mage in which case I will be able to hadouken my way through life). So I think I'll start now.

Black Mages. Really slow, really low Hp, Defense, and Attack, and incredibly Evil (or maybe not all Black Mages are Evil, just Black Mage EvilWizardington). But with all that negative attributes comes an incredibly awesome trait of Black Mages... MAGIC! Don't believe me or you don't think Magic is awesome? Check out that link ('cause I know you skipped over it thinking it was useless) and read it until the end and click next and you'll see what happens to Mr. Giant. Yeahp.... Pure Awesomeness (No, I won't tell you, just find out for yourself). Oh, sad part is, Black Mage can only do that once everyday (it's explained a few strips after the above comic, btw Black Mage IS his name :))).

Wait, so what? MAGIC IS COOL! In the actual Final Fantasy Games Black Mages have their turns every once in a while ('cause of they're low speed). And yet, when they ARE able to cast their spells, it deals incredible amounts of damage. Yes, I know they have little Hp and Defense, which makes them so vulnerable that one hit from a monster can kill them (maybe semi-high level monsters upwards anyway), and that they're Attack Power is so incredibly small that having them attack would just hit for 1 damage (again, maybe just semi-high level monsters upwards).

But we should all learn from Black Mages and their incredibly defenseless little bodies. We should live life to the fullest and make every moment count. We won't have every opportunity to attack and when even if we are able to start casting we might not actually be able to finish and get that attack through. Despite that, we should try to "try more" and not let one turn pass without doing anything substantial. Let's just give it our best shot and maybe, just maybe, that attack might just hit.

That's probably all for this chapter of "How to be a Black Mage". I hope you have come to learn more about how it is that Black Mages work. I'd love to continue this and I just hope that life will give me more inspiration to write other Chapters.
Also, thanks to Ms. L for the inspiration for this post. I kinda owe her a bit, the conversation I was talking about was from way back and I only posted about this now. This is probably the best time to mention this, although you probably already know. The Black Mage Image in my background is not mine as it belongs to the guy who made the comic, 8-bit Theatre, Brian Clevinger. Thanks to him I have a better appreciation for Black Mages and a Background Image :)).

Don't Bother Reading this Post

I haven't been able to post anything for the past few days. It's just that nothing of interest seems to be enough that it deserves a post. This blog is supposed to show a different side of me or to let myself evaluate myself. I haven't had a bad day for a while and so no negative emotions to report. It's been fun these few days, even if I haven't been anywhere noteworthy and haven't done anything. I'd like to feel the good emotions as they come along so I'm sorry if I live in them too long and won't be able to post about it. I don't think this post came out too well because it's not something negative, is there something wrong with that? I think I should avoid posts that talk about posts because I don't think I'm going anywhere with it. Ah well, I suppose I'll just have to see what tomorrow brings. (I reread the whole thing and it looks really stupid. So I changed the title. So sorry to you if you thought this post would be amazing :)))

Nothing Else Follows.
----------------------

Frisbee: Leg meet Mr. Cramp.

This one is for a friend.

Cramps. You get them from playing frisbee, from swimming, and other sports. It hurts during the moment it strikes and you just have to fall down especially if the cramp is at the foot or on your leg. So, you sit there for a few minutes, motionless, 'cause if you move it hurts a bit. Then you think, "Maybe, it's gone by now?". Then you stand up, and it hurts again. But you try and look strong and you stand up anyway, trying to hide the pain. You walk carefully, step after step, each step hurt after hurt. And you get to your destination. You sit for awhile. You think it got better. You get your bag and start walking. It still hurts and then there's the extra weight. You go down a set of stairs. "Oh wow," you think, "It's gone. Cool." Then you get to the ground floor. You realize you wanted to go back up. "OW! Ow. Ow...", yes, it was never gone. You get to the top floor and you lie down on your bed. You massage the part where it hurts to ease the pain. You get someone to massage it for you and they tell you, "Don't take a bath, you'll get cold". You agree without thinking, "But I just came from a sport and I want to take a bath." You realize this in the middle of the night and start walking to the bathroom. You shower and it feels so good, the pain is relieved. You go to sleep.

The next morning, you wake up. "OW! It's back." And it feels even worse. You can't get up, you can't get to school. You stay a whole day in bed not even allowed to play anything. You waste one day of your life for cramps.This happens for a few more days, you trying to recover. And one day you wake up. "Wow. I feel better. I feel refreshed." You feel free of the pain that cramps bring.

(Here it comes the conclusion you probably already realized was coming)
Cramps is like love you know? (Haha, yes it all boils down to this.) It kinda reminds you it's there all the time. Every time you try to forget, BOOM, there it is again saying, "Hey! I'm here. Just for forgetting, I'll hurt you some." And you do something stupid (for love, you know) and it's even worse now (like taking that shower 'cause you really had to). But thing is, cramps are temporary, and so is love (bitter of me? Maybe.) Maybe, just bad love (or seemingly good love that's actually bad) is temporary. The point is, love is an emotion, it's temporary. Like happiness, sadness, anger, or guilt. It'll be gone soon. So don't worry about it too much. You don't need to fuss over it much, it's either it'll be there or it won't.

Cut, here and here.

I cut myself during class yesterday with a cutter. It's an inch long on my left hand between the base of the index finger and the thumb. I just thought of it now but this cut is like a cut on your heart (I know these analogies are cliche but come on let me try one).

I've been having trouble stretching my left hand. I can't wear a glove or bat for softball so I had to sit out the game yesterday. It's really weird too when there is no scab that when i stretch it it's okay but when there is a scab it stings. Maybe when you're loving it's also like that. When you don't mind the heartbreak, it's easy to love again. And yet when you try to close it, to fill it, when you try to love it's so hard. Then again I can't properly use this kind of analogy or the word love properly, I'm not sure I've experienced it for a person in the romantic way yet. Yes, Infatuation, but maybe Love, not yet.

So What about Nobodies Like Me?

Who have no hearts...

Infatuation is so unfair. All the sights and the smells, all the hormones making me think I'm in love. And then I think, am I in love? Then the day of infatuations comes and everybody is trying to fall in / forget about love. But what about me? Think. Think. Think. Consider. Consider. Consider. No Action at all. Don't get me wrong though, I like Valentines, although what is a 'Valentine'? Is it an object of affection? Is it like chocolate or a card? Is it a person? Some one very dear to your heart? I don't know and I don't know if I'll ever find out.

Before I end this post I just wanna say, I'm sorry to my friend Mr. E, who wanted to give something to Ms. H today. I had to come along and ruin it :)). Sorry E. Sorry H. (I think you guys look good together though.)

So, as the day ends to another "Day of Hearts" or "Heart Day" or whatever can I just ask...


Will YOU be my Valentine?

UnPost.

So many things I want to post but I don't want to in my current state of mind, or at least that's my cover up for the actual reason, 'not right now'. I don't know which ones to post first and if ever to post them. I don't know how to start on them, but I have all the middle parts ready, but no intro (and no title). I usually end my posts on the spot but I still can't start because I have no start. I tried starting a few times but it usually ends up as, hold Backspace, Tab, Tab, Tab, Ctrl+A,Del.

I really wish I could just record all my thoughts. I'd post what I want you to read. But I don't think thoughts are like files on a computer like a .txt file that you can just read and edit anywhere. Maybe it's stored multiple times but each copy is copied from the previous like when you use paint to edit .jpg and you save it then it becomes blurry. You copy that pic and save it in another file it becomes blurrier and so on. Sometimes you're lucky and you get the copy of that thought but like the .jpg file it's the blurry copy and never the original awesome one.

As I was trying to finish this post I realized I didn't  plan to do a post like this yet here it is, complete with a title and everything. Maybe, I don't need to think ahead of time on what to post, just post what I feel like right now, right there and then. Hope to get a good topic next post.

It doesn't fit that way.

Round hole, square peg? Try as you might, it just won't work out. It's true for puzzles, for Biology, it's true for friends too. I'm actually writing this not from a recent experience.

I stopped trying ages ago, it just can't work out. I know it can't because we're just too different. It's not the difference I can't live with, it's what's not the same. You and I can never be any closer than we are now. I hope that maybe, in the near future, I'll change (or you'll change) and we can be better friends.

But then again, round peg in a square hole DOES fit. It may seem hard but it is possible. When I was a kid I proved it right. Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough. Maybe we are different but I won't accept that difference. As in the previous paragraph, I hope I can change and we can be better friends.

I'm not naming any particular persons, I have not just one in mind though. I hope that when you read this, you don't think it's you. I hope that when you do find out, you don't feel bad and start treating me differently. If I can't seem to be better friends with you, at least let's remain average friends which is better than not being friends at all. At least, you know you'll have me and I hope that I can say you have my back too.

Why not?

I could name a lot of reasons to not. I could, I would, but I won't. It makes you think, "Why ask yourself this when you can ask yourself 'Why'?". Reasons are just excuses to get out of doing something. When you don't like something you have a billion reasons not to. When you like something you only need one reason to, and you will.

Friends of mine that are reading this will know what I'm talking about. I don't want to, not because I have a reason not to, or that I don't have a reason to (I have both reasons), it's just because I simply don't want to (Yeah sorry... I just can't.). I think that's how you're supposed to say no to doing something. No excuses, no "oh, I can't because dot dot dot". Because when you give excuses, the people who are trying to convince you will give counter arguments. If you say just "No", they'll probably reply "Why not?", then you can just say "No" again. And keep "No-ing" and they'll eventually go away. It might seem stupid or rude but that's just how it is...

I guess the point of all this is that today, I learned that when I say "No" and give some reasons why, I'm actually saying, please convince me to say Yes. But when I say "No" and just 'No' I MEAN 'NO', clear?

Why I'm blogging this though? I don't know... I felt like it. I couldn't say No to the urge to post something. Plus Saying / Typing No is fun! (It's way shorter to type than Yes, so NO! :D)

Why don't I remember?

I don't know why but I think better when I'm in the bathroom. Don't judge me but, it's really quiet in the bathroom, or you can stand in the shower and all you hear is the water whooshing out the shower head. I used to think a lot in the bathroom but I never seem to remember it fully. I can remember parts just not the whole thing. I wish I was able to translate my thoughts into words like what I'm doing right now or maybe, store it all somewhere where I can interpret it and maybe then I'll be able to know what I'm thinking.

I wish that whatever I think of I could broadcast so that I'll get feedback and it won't just be there in my mind only as thoughts, only as bottled up emotion, then bursting at the worst possible time. Believe me, I try talking about them, but there never is a good time for them to come up. Things I usually think of are outcomes to what I'll be doing that day or the next day. The event never goes as how I thought about it in my head. It looks right in my head then it looks like crap in the real world. I also think of arguments for when I'm ready to explode. I'm already thinking of excuses in the bathroom before any scolding is thought of. Yet, I never have the courage to blow up to get scolded at some more BECAUSE I blew up. I also think of things to say or to write down (and yes, I did think up some of this post in the bathroom, some because I kinda forgot the rest). All those things I want to say, all that I want to talk about, nowhere to go, never mentioned, never remembered. Don't get me wrong, they're not forgotten just never remembered at the right time. I wish thoughts and memories were stored how memory on a computer is stored, just raw data on a given space which we can upgrade and give out easily.

I love the quiet in the bathroom and nothing will make me change my mind about thinking in the bathroom.

Fun. More Please.

My First Prom was awesome. All that I expected of Prom was there and more.

People in my school clean up nicely. Guys were cool in suits and Girls were pretty in their dresses. I don't think I can name anyone who didn't look good. Waiting for my date was fun too, being at the entrance and seeing everybody enter. Table assignments were just right despite us changing, wanting to change back,  but not changing back. The desired formation for our friends' tables was obtained anyway. The program was okay and the cotillion dancers were great. The food was fine, and I wish I went back for more fish fillet. The people given awards were sort of expected and our Prom Prince and Prom Princess made a cute couple. The dancing after was the most fun. I said a few posts ago that I didn't like dancing because I don't like being judged. However, because of Prom, I've come to like dancing. Dancing is so fun, dancing with anybody and everybody, I'm glad I got to go to Prom. I LOVE DANCING. I got to dance with everybody I wanted to dance with and more. I'm kinda sad it ended too abruptly though. There was no announcement that it was the last song already, plus the last song was not the best choice.

But, thanks to all the people who made the prom possible. Thank you to my date, I'm glad you were my date (she was also the friend I was talking with about not liking being judged). Thanks to my friends who let me dance with them, who let me dance any way I wanted. Thanks to friends of friends that I danced with.

Prom was Awesome. I want more Prom :)).

That was Fast.

I really didn't think it would be that easy, but I did it, I got over someone!

It can be done and I feel better, just in time for Prom. I really hope Prom will be fun, despite many not being excited for it (or atleast, not a lot of people are broadcasting their excitement). I hope it will be a night to remember and that we'll all enjoy it. I think this will be a good opportunity to learn how to dance or to learn how to not care while one is dancing. I'm really excited to see people in formal wear, so I'm going to go sleep now so I can wake up early and be excited some more!

I guess that's all for now. I don't really have anything much to say, so that really is all for now!

GameR(e)view One!

So like I said yesterday, I'll be reviewing a game today, and that game is called

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

When I was kid, I used to play this on the PlayStation 1. It was really fun for me. All the Jumping, and Spinning, and Running made a very fun game! Actually I played it again recently and I still love it :))

So you're Crash Bandicoot, a bandicoot, which is a marsupial, and Dr. Neo Cortex tells you he needs your help. You need to collect 25 crystals around the world and give it to him to save the world using the Warp room, appropriately called 'cause you can "warp" to different worlds using the portals found here.

The aim of the game is to find the a crystal in each level and then finish. They're placed roughly in the middle of a level and it's hard for you to miss them. There are enemies on each level that are themed to that level. When you're in a jungle, like the first level, your enemies are animals like armadillos, turtles (with spikes or saw blades), and small moles that chase after you. Note, enemies don't actually try to attack you, they're just obstacles placed there. Other obstacles include Pits, Explosives, and more Enemies! Also note, there are no such things as Hit Points in this game only Lives. So if you touch an armadillo or fall down a hole... instant death and you lose one life.

You're thinking, "One hit death?! You can't finish a game like that!" It's not impossible, but some levels ARE hard. Luckily Crash has some tricks up his sleeve, even though he doesn't have a shirt. Crash can Run, Jump, Spin, Crawl, Slide, and Body Slam. That's all you can do in this game, but that's really all you need to know. Like Mario, jumping (and spinning) on an enemy can kill it in one hit, or at least remove it from screen so you can pass. Jumping on most enemies tends to kill them, unless they have spikes or their back or something. Spinning also kills most enemies, unless they have spikes on their sides :)). It's all common sense, jump or spin, take your pick!

But what about regaining life you ask? There are boxes scattered throughout the level. Most boxes break when you jump or spin on them. When you break a box, you'll be able to collect the Wumpa Fruit inside. Collect 100 Wumpa Fruits and you gain an extra life. Sounds too tedious just for one life? There are boxes that contain Life only too, these are somewhat rarer than normal boxes with only Wumpa Fruit. Some Boxes are "Question Mark" boxes, which are like mystery boxes because you don't know if you'll get Wumpa Fruits or another Life. Levels are really long and dying will cause you to restart from the beginning, unless you break open a Checkpoint box. Checkpoints help you so that when you Explode 'cause you touched a TNT box or Nitro box, you restart from the most recent Checkpoint box opened. There are also boxes with a mask picture, this is Aku-Aku, and he'll be of great help. When you have Aku-Aku with you (he'll be floating around Crash's shoulder) and you're hit by an enemy, Aku-Aku takes the hit for you, and he is gone until you find another box. When you collect 2 Aku-Aku boxes you have see him golden and he can take 2 hits for you. When you collect 3... you go become invincible! (For a period of time) The music changes and it when it stops you are automatically no longer invincible. You wear Aku-Aku as a MASK and then you can start running through everything, boxes, enemies, and other obstacles. Beware though, Aku-Aku cannot save you dying due to falling in a hole. He's just a wooden mask, I don't think he can save you even if he CAN float around.

So that's the whole game! It may sound really boring but there ARE 25 crystals to collect. If you think this review is long, the game takes 20x longer to play than when you read this review, and that's just collecting the crystals. After every five crystals there are also bosses to be fought, not to hard nor too easy. You can also collect gems, most only require you to break every single box in a level to get it, some have you going through a mini level to get it or fulfilling special objectives!

The levels are very nice for an old game. There are about 10+ different themes that have different obstacles, backgrounds, and music. Some enemies are cute, but deadly, some are just deadly and some are just really awesome to look at! The trees or the machinery in the background really makes it look like a jungle or a spaceship. The music is also different for each theme, and the music will really catch your attention because sometimes you stop playing just to listen to the music. The sound effects are cool too! You'll often here Crash jumping and spinning, falling, exploding, and floating to heaven as an angel! Sounds from enemies are well made too. When they're jumped on they go "poof!" Yes, this game is very child friendly. No blood, no violence just enemies going poof or flying off-screen and Crash falling into holes (there are A LOT so you better watch out!)

The levels are also pretty punny (pun intended). Some level names tell you what level it is, Turtle Woods, Rock-It, or Crash Dash. Some are even more punny like Sewer or Later, UnBearable, Bee-Having. There's also one level called Hang Eight. Not Hang Ten because most animated characters only have four fingers on each hand, and Crash is no exception! (Sorry for ruining the joke, I didn't get it when I was much younger. I only got it when I was playing thorough the game a few months ago.)

I hoped you like this review, it's rather long so I'll try to shorten my reviews if ever I do this again (I hope I get to do this again!). Crash Bandicoot 2 is really cool, I really miss it especially when compared to the Crash games of today which strayed from what Crash Bandicoot is supposed to be, "Jumpin', Spinnin', Dyin' Amazin'!"

Osu made me post this.

I think I really like music. It doesn't matter what kind, if you can nod your head to the beat that's music. From old music, to new music, to raindrops, to keyboard key smashing, it's all so fun to hear. I guess they're not really all music, so I guess just sounds in general.

At night, I'm constantly thinking and reflecting and I hear different sounds during the night. Dogs barking, neighbors shouting, and cars passing by. And when there's a clock in the room, the "tick-tock"  of the clock is like my lullaby. At school, you hear all sorts of conversations. Sometimes about, Math Homework or Chem Long Tests, this someone and that someone, and unintelligible chatter. During class hours, besides hearing the teachers talking, you hear footsteps outside the classroom, the cheering or booing of the class next door, the secret conversations in the classrooms. Clock sounds are cool and so are footsteps. The sound of breathing is also relaxing.

In music, I don't really know what type I like. As long as it has a good beat it's probably music. I don't mind listening to different kinds of music. I do wish though, that I could have a record of each and every song lyric so I can sing along anytime. I know a lot of music but I don't bother learning who the artist is, or what the actual lyrics are, or even the title. I'm fond of the songs I grew up on like "Build me up Buttercup", songs by The Corrs, The Carpenters, Boy Band songs :)), Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Michael Jackson, there are a lot more :)). I also like the new ones, Lady Gaga, Bruno Mars, the new bands, and songs I don't know the titles to. By extension, I like rhythm games because of the new music I learn or old ones that I reminisce of. Elite Beat Agents, Guitar Hero, Rockband, and Osu come to mind.

Games also give cool background music. Music from the Pokemon, Phoenix Wright, and Professor Layton games are quite awesome. Final Fantasy Themes should also be noted. I love games, maybe I'll post about them tomorrow. But I play so many, maybe I should post about a game once in awhile. That might make me get better at making reviews (I've never tried much though) and Essay writing in general. Sounds like good practice.

Nerves

I don't know what made me think of this post, but I guess this is probably a great time to post this. It's the last day of January and these first few posts will be lost in archives forever! (Unless you actually go and look up stuff in archives and that's not exactly the most productive fun thing to do.)

Because this is a blog I'm going to make it very anonymous. So for all intents and purposes let's call the next person I'm going to introduce, A. (and I'm M. See? It makes sense).

So A, is a really pretty girl. She's so pretty that I can never seem to muster up the courage to say hi. (or when I do it ends up a failure, like the next thing you're going to find out). A week ago, I asked her to go to Prom with me. Yes, I'm still in high school, although whoever is reading this blog (if any at all), already knows that. But since I'm trying to remain anonymous, YES, I am just a High Schooler. So, I go up to her and I ask her out of nowhere. Like seriously, on impulse, I ask her. So for awhile she ponders, "how do I say this gently?" Haha. Yes. I don't think she was contemplating whether to say Yes or No, she just didn't know how to say no. I don't exactly know her that I "could" ask her to prom as friend, so I didn't mind really (or did I?).

How I asked her WAS really pathetic. No flowers, no chocolates, no signs, no nothing. I went up to her with a paper rose I made that morning, and I asked her. I was supposed to ask the day after but that time, there weren't a lot of people around. And you know me, I don't like being judged, so I thought it was the perfect time to just "ask".

Apparently, I asked at a bad time or something (I didn't try to ask my friends there, what they were talking about before I asked her [Yes, I'm not a gossipy person]). I want to find out though what it was that made it a totally bad time, but I'm still too ashamed. No, I'm not a shamed of asking her. No, I'm not ashamed of getting that 'No'. I'm ashamed because I could have done better. Maybe I should have asked her the day after, or maybe I shouldn't have tried to ask at all. But the point is, I should have really put some effort into asking her. Now I feel bad not because "Oh, I went to all that trouble and all I got was a No...", I felt bad because "Wow, that was crap. I'm never going to show my face to her ever again."

So A, if you're reading this, (I hope you aren't, 'cause you'll probably judge me as someone who has no guts to say this to you in person [well actually anyone who's reading this would judge me that way]) I really am sorry. Not because I asked you, or maybe you feel bad because you said 'No', don't because that was really stupid, what I did (I'd say No to me too). I'm sorry I didn't do the best I could have done. And to all other readers out there (if I have any readers at all) don't judge A as a bad person. A probably is really nice. And she REALLY is very pretty.

Ragnarok.

I don't like the feeling that you're being watched all the time, they're always listing down what you're doing, because they're actually listing down things you did wrong. Then again it's probably just paranoia but I don't care, I'm blogging about it anyway. I was using my Y!m a few days ago and I had a stat that went something like this "How do you get good? You play right? But what if you don't want to look bad? Do you still play?". My friend saw it and she told me something like, "You will always be judged, it's how people work". Now that I think about it, is that a good thing or a bad thing? Being judged all the time probably means, you have to be the best you can be ALL THE TIME. I don't want to look bad doing something because I'm not yet good at it. She replied if you don't look bad the first few times, you'll look bad doing it forever.
She's probably right. Maybe I should just let myself go and do whatever, diving in head first, be a shoot first ask questions later kinda guy. But I can't, not yet. It's hard changing people, but I'm gonna try. Then again, I don't have a reputation yet so maybe I can still look bad and no one will remember me. But I don't want to be remembered as the guy who did that "bad" thing, and I think I know a few guys labeled something like that.

You (whoever YOU are) are probably thinking "what is this thing he won't do?" Don't worry it's nothing illegal :)). During the conversation with my friend we were talking about playing Ultimate Frisbee. I just didn't want to be the guy who's always dropping the frisbee and not being able to throw well. I'm also thinking maybe I should try dancing more. It looks really fun and I think its a good way of getting to know people.

Maybe I don't dislike being judged, maybe its just the looking bad that I can't handle. I think I'll try to look good, being kind and likable or something. I guess I haven't learned anything from this reflection that its okay to look bad, but whatever. I do want to be portrayed as someone who is fun to be with and someone who is really nice. So next time you see me, give me a chance. Don't judge me yet, I'm gonna be better.

"Blog" Type M

I never thought I'd give in to this feeling but now, I AM here blogging. Thanks to my friends I was persuaded to create a blog. They didn't force me, but they all had blogs and I wanted to find out how it was to type and post, and have people read and react to your posts. Then again, there is no one reading this blog (yet? :D). Ah well. Maybe there'll be some tomorrow. Although I guess it wasn't only these things that made me want to make a blog. I want to see how different I am when I'm writing and I'm hoping this blog will make me find out. I don't think I broadcast my thoughts enough and I'm thinking maybe blogging can be my outlet for this kind of thing.

I think some of my friends would object and say "I'm an open book" and stuff. But I don't think I am. I may speak out spontaneous thoughts like for puns, jokes, crazy ideas, you know, the like, but I can never really say what I feel inside. Don't think wrong of me, whatever I say, I mean (except maybe mean things) but I have a lot of questions that I've been pondering for awhile but have had no courage to ask (I'm still not asking them here, but you CAN ask me about them in private).

Before this post ends I probably should say why I named my blog "Black Mage Type M". I actually have no idea why, but I'm pretty sure the M is because I like the letter M :D. Black Mages are cool and really easy to cosplay (and I hope I will be able to make my costume) so I guess that's why this blog is called this way.

So wow that was a totally(?) random post. Maybe I'll get better at typing and posting, so maybe that's all for now. (That is in fact all for now :D)